From a reputation dating back to the 70s Leeds are still know by some as "Dirty Leeds". From a reputation dating back to this afternoon, Arsenal are now know as "The Filthy, Unclean, Cheating, Arsenal"...or more succinctly - The FUCAs!

The dirty FUCAs turned up needing a win to stay in touch with the apparently untouchable Red Scum from the dark and dank side of the Pennines.

Leeds, side-tracked by their Euro adventures and depleted by injuries and exhaustion had slipped to 13th in the Premiership. They too needed 3 points to prove that last year's domestic achievements were no flash in the pan.

With a nice steady flow of players coming back from their sick beds and our adventures into the transfer market this week, things are a bit brighter around Elland Road. Pity it was pissing down.

18 million quid for a defender is a bit of a joke. However it does underline that we mean business - or trying to mean business. The best bit about lobbing 18 million quid out in one go is seeing poor old George Graham going green with envy and then purple with anger and then bald with greed.

Rio was paraded in front of the fans at 3:50. By 3:51 Britain's most expensive player was drenched by the torrential rain that had been sent over from Manchester. The fans clapped, Rio clapped, the fans sung, Rio smiled and then he fcked off back down the tunnel to dry off. All very predictable but at least he didn't slip on the wet turf and injure himself or something. Ridsdale shadowed him onto the pitch like a doting father. Awwwwwww !

The game kicked off with Vierra making an unexpected return to the dirty FUCAs starting lineup and Bakke, Dacourt, Wilcox all back for Leeds. Still Batty, Kewell and Martyn to follow.

If it was white, and it moved, and it wasn't the ball, then Arsenal kicked it. Smith wound up Keown and Adams big style. The old guard took the bait and repeatedly took the cocky youngster's legs. The referee should have taken all the Arsenal players names before hand just to save time.

The game was an absolute cracker. English football in a nutshell. High tempo, crunching tackles, the odd bit of skill and lots of goalmouth action.

In the 1st half Leeds were excellent. Dacourt, Bakke and Bowyer got the edge in midfield and put great pressure on Arsenal's aged back line. Smith was a real nuisance and his early chip should have given Leeds the lead. Bakke went close with a header and Wilcox missed from 3 yards out. Woodgate nodded agonisingly wide and Kelly's piledriver beat the keeper but went flying past the post and into the Kop.

Arsenal who have more attacking threat than NATO also created some chances but lacked the overall conviction that Leeds had. Henry's pace gave him a chance from tight angle and Wiltord slid his shot wide of an empty net with Robinson playing Twister on his own in the South East corner.

Smith having done a job on Keown and Adams now started winding up the full backs. The best chant I have ever heard at a football match was sung by the Leeds Kop - it wasn't subtle, it wasn't clever BUT it was very funny....to the tune of 1-0 to the Arsenal....."Keown is an ugly c*nt!" I'm still laughing now but then again I am a big kid. Keown's hideously repulsive face blushed the colour of his shirt.

Half time 0-0 and Leeds must have rued their missed chances.

Arsenal started the 2nd half like an express train....well....an express train before the recent train network fcked up. Pires, Wiltford and Henry were getting some freedom and Vierra started to dominate like we all know he can. Leeds defended very well and restricted the potent Arsenal strike force to few clear chances.

On the hour Dacourt broke through the midfield and was clattered by Keown and Parlour. Dacourt got up, thankfully told Harte to "feck off", and struck the free-kick via a wicked deflection over the stranded Manninger. 1-0.

Moments later, Arsenal still affronted by Leeds' opener stood and watched pinball in their penalty area and Harte's flipper sent the ball rebounding off the post. Arsenal then tilted the pitch in their favour.

The onslaught lasted a good 15 minutes. Wiltord dragged a shotfractionally wide and then hit a post from an angled drive. Henry swung a free kick a tram ticket's width away and Robinson parried several vicious shots. Leeds luckily hung on and 17 more Arsenal players went into the book but strangely none of them got sent off.

The final whistle brought the result Leeds needed and their greater desire just shaded this contest their way. A superb game.

Rio must be wondering how he will get into the team especially if Leeds continue with their back 4. Woody and Rads handled Arsenal's formidable attack with great authority.

Scores

Robinson 7 He's maturing very well and I no longer worry about his lack of experience.

Kelly 6 What he lacks in ability he makes up for in fight.

Harte 6 Woefully short of pace and has lost the ability to cross, pass and breathe. But all in all did OK.

Woody 8 Worth 19million

Rads 9 The best central defender Leeds have had since the Good Old Days of Ashurst and Rennie !

Dacourt 9 Here, there, everywhere. 1st goal for Leeds.

Bowyer 7.5 Abrasive and competitive but lacks a footballing brain.

Bakke 6.5 Faded after a great start. Looks like he needs a holiday.

Wilcox 7 Provided some width and battled hard with little reward.

Smith 9 Did more damage without the ball. Gave Granddad Donkey and Ugly C*nt a real fright

Viduka 6 Held the ball well but offered little threat to the Arsenal goal. Seems to be looking forward to an English Xmas of Turkey, mince pies and cream, chocolates, 8 pack of lager, pies, pasties, sausages wrapped in bacon, brandy, pies, After Eights and more pies.

Subs: None used - surprised Bakke was not replaced after 70 mins when he was knackered and Pires and Vierra were running the show.

Crowd 8 Good atmosphere in shite conditions

Ref 7 Booked 75 Arsenal players and about 2 Leeds. Can't argue with that !

Reporter: Stotty

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