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Alan Sugar has left his mark on 21st century football. You can go to the game at Tottenham, sit back in a nice comfy seat, have the peace of the countryside and watch the game on a giant TV. The only problem is that it costs the best part of 30 quid and there are lots of silly stick men running about on some green thing in front of you that distracts you from trying to watch the television.
On the stroke of half time Bowyer, in an unfamiliar role on the left of midfield, got the wrong side of Doherty and the impressive Irishman lightly nudged the Londoner to the floor. Definite, if slightly soft,penalty.
The man to my left in a soft Irish brogue declared that Ian Harte would miss the spot kick - I think it was O'Leary's brother. To make him feel even worse I informed him this was my 5th visit to White Hart Lane and I'd still not had the pleasure of seeing the Whites score here. We hugged as Harte rammed the ball past Sullivan who guessed the right way but would have lost several fingers had he touched it. 1-1.
Leeds were in good form. For the first 20 minutes Spurs struggled to get into the Leeds half. Batty was awesome. He won everything and as usual his passing was simple and neat. Dacourt battled with equal menace but his passing was horrifying. Keane with a combination of well timed runs, clever positioning and pace opened up the Spurs on a number of occasions. However on all three occasions as soon as he saw the whites of the Spurs keeper's eyes he shot tamely.
Viduka fortunately was in his "up for it" mood rather than the all too familiar "I'm dreaming about pork pie suppers so f*cking leave me alone" mindset. Some days his flicks are infuriating. Today they came off and he looked world class again. Sol Campbell is no mug and Vidooks just shaded it. In fact in the very first minute the Fat One lost his marker only to be bundled over. Man Utd fan Jeff Winter looked the other way, up at the big screen to see if the Saturday afternoon wrestling was still on ITV. Come back Mick McManus all is forgiven.
Poor old Lee Bowyer - every opposition crowd has a go at him. You can see him itching to give them the fingers and say a big "F@CK OFF YOU TW@TS" at them. He can't though. He was getting increasingly frustrated on the left hand side of midfield and with Kewell and Wilcox on the bench the decision to play him in an unfamiliar role was perplexing.
Bakke played on the right, or was supposed to be, but he had another poor half as he drifted inside and gave the ball away too cheaply with some careless passing.
Spurs finally managed to get a few moves together and Ferdinand rose well to nod a free kick against a post as Martyn scurried across his goal. Then the inevitable happened. Cousin Rio cocked up hopelessly and allowed the over-hyped Rebrov to set Big Les up for a well taken but gift wrapped opener. Lots of Love, Rio xxxx
The Spurs fans sang Chaz and Dave songs for 12 seconds and then returned to their Financial Times stocks and shares, apples and pears. Some Tottenham fans unfurled a "West Yorkshire Spurs" flag. There they were in the middle of the Spurs end with their flat caps on standing out like sore thumbs, like chalk and cheese, like Yorkshire puddings and Bagels, like Chaz'n'Dave and Charlie Williams.
We had the last laugh.
Thankfully at half time O'Leary took the potatoes out of his eyes and introduced Kewell for the hapless Baaaaakke. Bowyer switched to the right and Leeds went shit or bust in search of the 3 points.
Leeds hammered Spurs back. Bowyer and Mills ran riot down the right, Kewell and Viduka linked up superbly down the left and Keane continued to be a menace without the youngster really getting out of 1st gear. Sullivan made a superb save to deny Viduka and then flicked it away from the onrushing Keane. The ball fell to Bowyer 8 yards out. A virtually open goal at his mercy. The Spurs fans winced as they knew he'd score and all their piss taking would make them look doubly foolish. Bowyer connected well on the volley but instead of the net bulging a prostrate Spurs defender on the line managed to get one of his testicles in the way and the ball rebounded to safety.
That wasn't in the script. Oh well we were still well on top.
Excellent work by Mills on the right forced a corner and Bowyer's quick short corner allowed him to advance to the edge of the box where his tame shot/cross went through Viduka's legs and past the stranded Sullivan who was stood admiring Viduka's pastie and chicken slice collection. The Leeds fans went mental. Bowyer have given the Spurs fans the biggest 2 fingered salute possible.
My heart was going abnormally fast. Could we hold on ?
Tottenham tried in vain and forced a few corners from which they had some decent headers but all off target. Kewell was now playing as a third striker and a huge hole appeared on our left hand side. Better teams may have capitalised but an injury hit Spurs were never going to cause us too many problems - especially as Rio and Matteo were splendid at the back (apart from Ferdinand's early aberration) and both Harte and Mills looked solid.
The more Spurs pushed the more space they left at the back - Viduka and Kewell both had several chances but could not quite add to the score.
After a brief period of injury time referee Fat boy Winters blew up (if only) and Leeds had secured another marvellous and well deserved win.
The walk back to Seven Sisters tube station gets longer and longer each time I visit North London but this time I'd not only seen us score a goal but I'd seen a great performance, 3 points and a huge TV only bettered by the massive Sony screen at the Olympic Stadium, Munich.
Ach du liebe gott.
Scores on t'Doors
Martyn 6 - Nearly caught out twice by Les Ferdinand but a solid game
Mills 7 - Got forward well - looked strong and positive. Still a very raw player but with good coaching could well make it big(ish). Ok - he's shite !
Harte 7.5 Took the pressure penalty with apparent ease. Not the best defender in the world but his scoring record speaks for itself.
Rio 7 - Lost 2 pts for his terrible mistake but otherwise was majestic.
Matteo 7.5 Much better as a central defender than a midfielder.
Bowyer 8 Got the winner and adapted reasonable well on the left. Shoved it up the Spurs fans good and proper.
Bakke 4 - Nah. Spent most of the half watching the tele and waving at it whenever he came on.
(Kewell) 7 - didn't get the ball much but was always dangerous.
Batty 9 - My first name on the England teamsheet.
Dacourt 7 - Passing wretched, tackling superb.
Viduka 8.5 - A family sized chicken and mushroom pasty of a game. Great touches and the crowd let him know that they appreciated him. He waved back during the game - which was nice.
Keane 7 - not his day. Missed every chance that came his way but did well to get into the right positions. No complaints from me.
A 12 hour round trip was definitely worth it for me. Well done lads - we're all proud of you.
...oh....i've not mentioned our erstwhile manager - a mister George Graham. Well I don't care about him anymore. If the bald, judas, greedy, bung taking, corrupt, ugly bastard loses his job then he loses his job.
Reporter: Stotty
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